I am 24 years old and I have just started my second undergrad degree here at McMaster.
I've always been suffering from severe social phobia, but things were getting much better as I started making good friends.

Then ever since I moved to Hamilton to do my second degree, I started feeling so lonely.
I'm all alone here and I'm also much older than the most of the classmates (most of my classes are 1st year courses too).
I feel I'm all by myself, and pretty much everyday, I would come back home without speaking a word to anyone.

I'm actually doing great in school, but the fact that I'm always alone makes me feel like I'm completely worthless and not worth living at all.
I've never been so depressed before, but unfortunately, I can't even discuss this with my parents because they'll be extremely worried about me when they hear about this.
I also happen to be very emotional so thinking about this makes me even more depressed.

Has anyone experienced anything similar..? I really don't know how to cope with this situation

Student Wellness Centre

McMaster University
MUSC B101
[email protected]
905-525-9140 ext: 27700
1280 Main Street West
L8S 4S4
Book an appointment with a mental health nurse(?)expert at Student Wellness Centre
Or you can call MSU peer support line at X28888 (open 7days a week 7PM-1AM, yes 7 as in night time)

Or, last case scenario, if you must speak with someone urgently, you can message me on macinsiders and we can arrange an in person gathering and i can try to help. I suggest the first two options though.

No matter how many friends you have, I think everyone feels that way at one point or another.
You're definitely not alone. There are many people who, like yourself, take time to make friends and become comfortable around others, and there's nothing wrong with that.
First year classes are difficult to make friends in just because they're so crowded, but try starting study groups. That way, you can bond with people without the pressure, and you can take their numbers and ask to hang out. A lot of people are open to friendships, you just have to take chances.

If you still have a hard time, then you can message me whenever you want, and I'll be your online friend, even if you just want to rant about your day.

MI chat. that's a place to start

Originally Posted by Leeoku

MI chat. that's a place to start

No way! I've been on here for so long and had no idea that existed!

Hey Evans,

The first step is always to acknowledge the situation and that is what you did. Good for you

I think it's pretty normal to feel lonely. I am living in a house with my close friends but I still feel lonely at times, especially during midterms and exams. I volunteer regularly so that takes off the load of loneliness by a lot which does help.

Do you have someone you could talk to? It's a good idea to find someone that you know you can talk to. Perhaps you have friends you could talk to outside of Hamilton?

I recommend calling Good2Talk or Peer Support Line. Good2Talk is 24 hours and they have professional counselors on the line. Peer Support Line has trained Mac students on the line. They are both confidential and anonymous. I have used these support lines before and they are helpful, even if only a little. Talking to them could help you sort some of your feelings out. They could also refer you to services that better suit your situation.

I have one final question to ask, what do you want to do before you die? I think this question is important to consider and to think about. This question helped me sort out my priorities.

If you can, keep this thread updated.

Hey Evan,

You're not alone in the sense that many others go through very similar things through university and just life in general. Personally, I find it helps so much to have a close group of friends who you genuinely enjoy spending time with. While finding some really close friends sometimes takes a while and isn't the easiest to do, its one of the most helpful things. Social support is so important...just being able to talk about all the things you are going through now with someone that you trust can make a world of difference. Just be positive, and be persistent, and you will find a group of people who can help make you feel less alone and make you value your life more. It's hard, but social anxiety is something you can challenge and if you work hard you can still meet new people.

I've sent you a private message here on MacInsiders...message me any time if you want to talk! I can definitely relate to what you're going through.

Can't you just join a clan or something for a video game that you play. Plenty of people to talk to there.

If you don't know how to chat with real people, well, you just have to start, first a little, then work your way up.

Hi Evan,

About your recent post, I can honestly say, I've lived with these exact same feelings, of loneliness, depression and social phobia, arguably more so depending on how long you've been experiencing these problems. While I'm not here to compare stories, I'm a recovering socio-phobic, and depressed person. I consider myself an expert on depression, and loneliness, I've suffered with it for about 8 years, and most of my life. There's many underlying causes of it, most of which stem from lifestyle, and physical reasons. Without going into too many details... I am much better than I was when I was younger. I too am pursuing a 2nd undergraduate degree like you 23 years old. I lack many close friends, but I still have a couple.

From what I hear, yes days can go by in university without talking to anyone, unfortunately university breeds that type of environment, with the fast paced, stress-high lifestyle.

Couple strategies my counselor(s) taught me to improve my mood and overall well-being is

1) Socialize with people you know or trust, this includes your parents
2) Physical Activity/Exercise releases endorphines and can temporarily relieve your depression and boost overall well-being
3) Omega-3s, I'll upload a link to explain why http://www.naturalnews.com/039966_om...anxiety.html

4) Hobbies and Activities you enjoy, preferably with other people
5) Building a Support system, networking with people
6) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – breaking down irrational, and negative thoughts, to more realistic ones through logical reasoning http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cogniti...oral_ therapy

please private message me there is more I'd like to talk to you about, but I recommend the first reply in your post of seeing the wellness centre

I also HIGHLY RECOMMEND you watch this video on depression it will summarize everything, just take the time to watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drv3BP0Fdi8

please pm me, if you need anything.

SilentHero-_-

Watch this talk on Depression, it's a highly informative video about how the historical and biological causes of depression, most likely you just need to socialize more, and connect, but just watch it, it will give you clarity.

Ted Talk: Depression is a disease of civilization
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drv3BP0Fdi8

Here's the link that was broken in my previous post: http://www.naturalnews.com/039966_om...anxiety .html

I hope that helps

Overcoming Hopelessness by Nick Vujicic

Ted Talk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P2nPI6CTlc

I also HIGHLY RECOMMEND you watch this video on depression it will summarize everything, just take the time to watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drv3BP0Fdi8

Wow, great video! Thanks!

hey, i'm the same way. what helps is keeping in contact with your old friends - you'll make new ones eventually, but it's certainly better than nothing if you can arrange to hang out with your old friends once every couple of weeks.

also, if you find it difficult to join clubs and stuff, you can always join online communities and forums. they're often easier on social anxiety. do you do any gaming? i've made some really good friends online who kept me sane when i was starting at mac with no friends.

Originally Posted by Commie42

Wow, great video! Thanks!

np, glad I could help.