I don't even know where to start.
Thank you very much to everyone who left all these comments.
To be honest, I wasn't really expecting so much support from an online forum, but I was really amazed by how many PM and comments I got.
I've always been trying to isolate myself and I just couldn't find a way out of that.
I guess I'll start by seeing someone from the Wellness center as many of you have suggested.

I feel much better than yesterday to find out that there are so many kind people who are willing to help me
I will always remember your comments!

I like how the most relevant topic is my thread on Poop Phobia.

Originally Posted by ZSimon

I like how the most relevant topic is my thread on Poop Phobia.

Good times

Originally Posted by zxcv89

I am 24 years old and I have just started my second undergrad degree here at McMaster.
I've always been suffering from severe social phobia, but things were getting much better as I started making good friends.

Then ever since I moved to Hamilton to do my second degree, I started feeling so lonely.
I'm all alone here and I'm also much older than the most of the classmates (most of my classes are 1st year courses too).
I feel I'm all by myself, and pretty much everyday, I would come back home without speaking a word to anyone.

I'm actually doing great in school, but the fact that I'm always alone makes me feel like I'm completely worthless and not worth living at all.
I've never been so depressed before, but unfortunately, I can't even discuss this with my parents because they'll be extremely worried about me when they hear about this.
I also happen to be very emotional so thinking about this makes me even more depressed.

Has anyone experienced anything similar..? I really don't know how to cope with this situation

Hello, friend!

I'm really sorry you're feeling so blue! :( I want to let you know that you're never alone, and right now it might feel that way, but in Deuteronomy 31:6, the Bible says "Be strong and courageous. Don’t tremble! Don’t be afraid of them! The Lord your God is the one who is going with you. He won’t abandon you or leave you.”. You might feel alone among people, but take heart! Jesus has overcome the world (John 16:33). You are precious to Him, and He loves you so much.

I'm not perfect and I sometimes I feel alone in the world, but I have this hope, and from this hope, I receive incredible peace and joy.

Turn all your anxiety over to God because He cares for you! (1 Peter 5:7)

Hey man, some time ago, I was recommended MoodGym (https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome) by my GP to keep up with CBT. I think its perfect for you to start countering the negative thoughts, even before waiting to meet with the awesome docs & counselors at the wellness centre during this time. This site is run by an Australian university & is for people like you & me.

CBT, I think, really helped me rationalize what I'm thinking about, which was really just my negative past coming to envelop me in a shroud of fear & loneliness. It actually isn't supposed how the mind works normally, people aren't supposed by me constantly haunted by negative memories & fear, but there's apparently a silence in the mind-space where I am allowed clear out all that junk & put it behind me.

Also, find the 'Mad Student Society'. they're a really friendly & super safe society....in the shadows-ish. Ok, not really in the shadows, but they're cool.

Posting on this thread reminded me of 'beating a dead horse' analogy, trying to help the helped? Perhaps one more person won't be too bad.

Originally Posted by ekahhface

Hello, friend!

I'm really sorry you're feeling so blue! :( I want to let you know that you're never alone, and right now it might feel that way, but in Deuteronomy 31:6, the Bible says "Be strong and courageous. Don’t tremble! Don’t be afraid of them! The Lord your God is the one who is going with you. He won’t abandon you or leave you.”. You might feel alone among people, but take heart! Jesus has overcome the world (John 16:33). You are precious to Him, and He loves you so much.

I'm not perfect and I sometimes I feel alone in the world, but I have this hope, and from this hope, I receive incredible peace and joy.

Turn all your anxiety over to God because He cares for you! (1 Peter 5:7)

People with depression don't usually respond well to proselytizing. You don't offer anything somebody who doesn't already believe in that knows currently.

Please don't do this.

As crazy as it sounds, this isn't the first case like this that I've heard of. Something similar (minus the online streaming) happened at an off-campus house near Mac a few years ago.

Other people's advice seems pretty good Student Wellness Centre is always a good place to start, and they can help you find other resources and ideas to help as well.

Originally Posted by starfish

Please don't do this.

As crazy as it sounds, this isn't the first case like this that I've heard of. Something similar (minus the online streaming) happened at an off-campus house near Mac a few years ago.

Other people's advice seems pretty good Student Wellness Centre is always a good place to start, and they can help you find other resources and ideas to help as well.

oh, gosh.
Honestly, I don't think this was depression as much as it was just looking for some attention and internet fame.
But it's selfish as hell, either way, to risk other students' lives in the process.
Hopefully nothing like this ever happens at Mac.

st josephs healthcare in hamilton has a great mental health clinic helped me immensely. just get a doctor to refer you there. just remember that you're not alone and there are others who suffer as well so don't be ashamed

Originally Posted by ekahhface

Hello, friend!

I'm really sorry you're feeling so blue! :( I want to let you know that you're never alone, and right now it might feel that way, but in Deuteronomy 31:6, the Bible says "Be strong and courageous. Don’t tremble! Don’t be afraid of them! The Lord your God is the one who is going with you. He won’t abandon you or leave you.”. You might feel alone among people, but take heart! Jesus has overcome the world (John 16:33). You are precious to Him, and He loves you so much.

I'm not perfect and I sometimes I feel alone in the world, but I have this hope, and from this hope, I receive incredible peace and joy.

Turn all your anxiety over to God because He cares for you! (1 Peter 5:7)

dont push your relgious jibber jabber on the public!!
Youre as bad as Jehovah's Witness coming over at dinner time right now

If you want things to change then change the way you think and things will just happen

Sometimes it's not you, it's the people around you. Surround yourself with people you find comfortable with.
Not people who are absolute asses or rowdy.
Hopefully you find some good people like you whose presence will make your heart feel warmth. I send you an 'air hug'. Reality is, many of us are lonely inside, we all just want to feel accepted, and everyone wants to be happy. Even the people with the biggest smiles can feel lonely inside. University life is like that. And trust me, I can be socially nervous too. It's not fun to be nervous, but surround yourself with people who make you feel welcome and you will feel a lot happier. Take care of yourself too, and remember, in this ocean of stressful and busy university life, it is important to find happiness within yourself, too.

Originally Posted by EvgeniMalkin

Sometimes it's not you, it's the people around you. Surround yourself with people you find comfortable with.
Not people who are absolute asses or rowdy.
Hopefully you find some good people like you whose presence will make your heart feel warmth. I send you an 'air hug'. Reality is, many of us are lonely inside, we all just want to feel accepted, and everyone wants to be happy. Even the people with the biggest smiles can feel lonely inside. University life is like that. And trust me, I can be socially nervous too. It's not fun to be nervous, but surround yourself with people who make you feel welcome and you will feel a lot happier. Take care of yourself too, and remember, in this ocean of stressful and busy university life, it is important to find happiness within yourself, too.

I second this

What is so bad about suicide anyway? It's a real shame that there is this huge stigma about not being able to end your life on your own terms.
If you as an adult have decided that life isn't worth living, then why does anyone have the right to prevent you from doing so?

By having laws condemning suicide all it does is create a permanent underclass of depressed people. In the past they were necessary to do the menial tasks in society, but with our current rate of automation even that won't be true for long.
So do we now only exist for the entertainment of those happier than us to be pointed to as examples of what not to become?
Why not simply have a society where no one is forced to live against their will?

If the only argument you have for preventing someone from ending their life is that it makes you feel uncomfortable, then how could you possible call them the selfish ones?

Originally Posted by WillyH

What is so bad about suicide anyway? It's a real shame that there is this huge stigma about not being able to end your life on your own terms.
If you as an adult have decided that life isn't worth living, then why does anyone have the right to prevent you from doing so?

By having laws condemning suicide all it does is create a permanent underclass of depressed people. In the past they were necessary to do the menial tasks in society, but with our current rate of automation even that won't be true for long.
So do we now only exist for the entertainment of those happier than us to be pointed to as examples of what not to become?
Why not simply have a society where no one is forced to live against their will?

If the only argument you have for preventing someone from ending their life is that it makes you feel uncomfortable, then how could you possible call them the selfish ones?

The reason why suicidal thoughts are offensive to people is because that it's hard to see somebody believe stuff about themselves that isn't true. The fact of the matter, while people have the right to live how they want to, most shuffle the thoughts away and don't talk about it. It's never acceptable to let somebody believe they're less than, because they're not..